Edward D. Wood, Jr.: My Gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
Bela Lugosi: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.
[on the reason for the success of ‘Dracula(1931)’]
Bela Lugosi: They were mythic. They had a poetry to them.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes.
Bela Lugosi: And you know what else? The women… the women preferred the traditional monsters.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Listen, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe?
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a fag.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, no, I’m just a transvestite.
Little boy: You’re not a real vampire. Those teeth don’t frighten me.
[Bela looks puzzled. Ed Wood appears next to him in the doorway]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: How ‘bout these?
[Pulls out his entire row of front teeth]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [Little boy screams and runs away]
Bela Lugosi: Hey… How d’you do that?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Dentures!
[Holds them up]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Lost my pearlies in the war!
